The Retcon Punchers spend an awful lot of time looking for ways to celebrate our nerdy obsessions. This means a lot of time sunk into scouring Etsy, Deviant Art, Think Geek or whatever. Sometimes we see things so great we just have to share them… and then clutch them fiercely to our collective chest. Throw it in The Vault.
Website: Good Guy Comics
Who Would Love This: Drinkers with very specific groups of friends
Price: $79.99
If you worry that people are going to drink out of your glass because they all look the same, this set of Lantern Corps-themed pint glasses is for you (or at least the Avarice glass). Toast l’chaim with the Life glass, give your designated driver the Will glass, or just turn glass selection into an incredibly nerdy party game (as if there were any other kind). Really though, there’s a glass for everyone’s drinking style: the Rage glass for angry drunks, the Love glass for horny drunks, and the Compassion glass for friendly drunks. Things might get weird for the person using the Death glass, but nine is kind of a weird number for a party anyway.
Retcon Punch 
God, I love just about anything with the various lantern logos on them. I love these – they’re like a classy variant of the kind of thing you see in comic stores all the time.
There was a while where I really wanted a billiard set that had emotional logos instead of numbers. I STILL WANT THIS. And I don’t own a pool table (and further: I don’t like playing pool.)
Is the symbology of these logos ever explained? The physical lanterns look the same, so if they’re not representing those, what are they representing? It seems like the Avarice symbol is just a crude depiction of Larfleeze, and the compassion one almost makes sense, but why/how are these symbols associated with their respective emotions?
I should say, I also understand that the Black Hand and and Star Sapphire symbols kind of predate this mythology, but what about Hope? Why is that hope?
I HAVE ACTUAL ANSWERS TO THIS. One of the Blackest Night trades has a bit in there with Ivan Reis talking about the design of all the symbols. They’re all supposed to look like they’re as old as the emotions themselves – which is why they’re all pretty simple graphics.
The yellow symbol is supposed to resemble the mouth of parallax (originally it was just a parallax symbol, before the entity was explicitly connected to any kind of fear corps). So the blue symbol (hope) is supposed to be the opposite of the yellow symbol (fear). It also sorta looks like it’s giving a hug.
The Indigo (compassion) and Orange (avarice) symbols are also supposed to serve as opposites. Indigo’s arrows point out, orange’s arrows point in. Bonus points for orange looking like a little devil.
Red (rage) is the only one with an off-set center-circle – which is supposed to represent the unbalanced nature of the power. Also, if it looks like it has horns – it does: that connects it to its emotional entity, The Butcher.
And as you state, star sapphire sorta predates all this emotional spectrum stuff. I could talk about this garbage for hours.
NERD.
YOU FUCKING ASKED.
Sorry, that was rude.
Man, it’s like a zen koan: what’s nerdier, the nerd who knows, or the nerd who wants to know?
I had considered insisting on drinks that correspond to the colors. Beer can cover the warm end of the specturm (and Black), but things have to get pretty weird to do Green, Blue, Indigo, or Violet. Suggestions?
Boons Farm for all four.
The real issue is White. Especially since the rest of them are booze – it would be upsetting to have one glass of milk…
White Russian, Dude. I was also willing to be forgiving enough to call a white ale close enough.
But everyone else is drinking a pint glass of what is essentially beer. A pint of White Russian? That’s going to fuck a body up way quicker.
You’re right, even leaving out the alcohol content, keeping pace with pints of dairy at a time does not sound like a good night. Maybe white should be a combination of all of the other drinks (besides Black)? It’s still gross, but it’s not “pint after pint of cream” gross.
I love all of this.
Also, as much as I like these, it bugs me that the Green Lantern symbol isn’t in a circle like the rest.
Yeah – even the Star Sapphire logo is the updated version with the circle around the outside.
Yeah, it looks like the Green Lantern glass may have been an older model they’d been selling for a long time — it’s possible the set comes with an updated one.
IT BETTER.
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