Today, Mikyzptlk and Drew are discussing The Green Team 2, originally released July 3rd, 2013.
Mikyzptlk: Superhero books are a dime a dozen these days. I should know, because it feels like I read most of them. No, I know that isn’t true, but I do read quite a few. Actually, it’s hard to read so many superhero books when I know that publishers like Image or imprints like Vertigo are producing some pretty amazing books. I only have so much time in my schedule, so a lot of times, when I read a superhero book, it means that I can’t read an “indie” book that may be a lot more interesting. I’m not sure if that’s a fair way to go into a review, but it is an honest one. With that, I give you my thoughts on The Green Team #2.
The attack that began in the previous issue continues as our story begins. Our not-quite-yet heroes are struggling to get themselves out of the rocky situation. Cecelia is held captive by one of the masked assailants collectively known as Riot. J.P. tosses her a disk that grants her the same powers that Commodore revealed in issue 1. Cecelia, now decked out in a not-an-Iron-Man suit begins to clumsily escape with J.P. on her shoulders. Meanwhile, Commodore, Mo, and L.L. escape via their own unique methods. Those three regroup at Mo’s “apartment,” where they begin discussing the recent events. Commodore seems to think that Riot is just a front for an even more nefarious entity and advises Mo to learn more about where his father’s money comes from. J.P and Cecelia retreated, in private, to a hotel suite. It seems that they are actually an item, and that Cecilia’s “relationship” with Commodore is all just for show. This doesn’t sit well with J.P. which lands him on the couch for the night. The next morning, Cecelia awakens to the new that she’s missed her call time for her newest movie and is now in some hot water. She doesn’t have too much time to be concerned with that however, as she now seems to have grown a bionic arm.
I’m sure that, with a bit of makeup, no one will even notice. So, this was the conclusion that was laid out to us all on the cover of this issue. I hate it when comics spoil themselves don’t you? Anyway, that’s not really a big deal as it was obvious something like this would happen. Before Cecelia activated her not-an-Iron-Man suit, she was cut by Riot and then made note of her injury. We then saw a panel dedicated to showing us something that looked like circuits entering Cecelia’s bloodstream. So, this “shocking” reveal was telegraphed fairly obviously. Either way, I don’t mind all too much that I saw this coming, the problem is that I just don’t care. These are brand new characters, so I guess I shouldn’t be complaining too much that I don’t really care about any of them yet. The thing is though, I’ve read plenty of first issues (or first chapters of books) that succeeded in getting me emotionally invested in one or several new characters. Now that I’m at issue 2 with The Green Team, and I just don’t quite feel up for issue 3, I know there is a problem.
So, what is the problem I’m having exactly? It’s tough to say, because I’ve loved Franco and Art Baltazar’s work in the past. I mean, who doesn’t love some Tiny Titan’s action? Going into this book, I knew I was going to be a tough sell. The thing is, I feel like I already read enough of your standard superhero adventure. I read a TON of DC books, and quite a few Marvel books too. Like all of us, I only have so much time to dedicate to comics. So, when I dedicate myself to a series, it’s either because I’m dedicated to the character(s), the creator(s), or simply because the book is so damned good. Basically, if a book doesn’t feature my favorite characters or creators, it really needs to “wow” me to keep me on board. So far, The Green Team hasn’t done that.
This issue focuses on Cecelia, the Paris Hilton-like character featured on the team. She seems like a spoiled actress that is clearly way more interested in becoming an acting superstar than being a hero. Of course, now that she’s been infected by some kind of techno-virus, she might be forced to change her plans. I suppose this could be interesting, except that I’m far more interested in the hundreds of other superhero stories I’m reading so far. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that this is a bad book, it’s just kind of…standard. A bunch of rich kids get together to form a superhero team. That’s a fine enough premise, but I must ask the age old question: Where’s the beef? Actually, I may have found some. Not much mind you, but some. Think less Baconator, more Jr. Bacon Chee.
Now here’s something interesting. Where exactly does all of this money come from? With villains like Lex Luthor firmly entrenched in the business world, it’s fair to wonder if Mo’s dad has ever made any deals with the guy who has tried to kill the world’s greatest hero on more than one occasion. Hell, for all we know, any of these kids parents could be business partners with Ra’s Al Ghul! On the one hand, I really like this concept and I think it’s the first interesting bit that this book has presented me. On the other hand, I’ve already seen the parents-as-supervillains angle in Runaways, so I’m hoping there’s more to this.
Drew, I don’t think I’m being fair to this book. Am I judging it too harshly? Is it my fault that I’m just not that into it when I’ve got so many other books to satisfy my superhero cravings? Should I be more open minded or even patient? How many books do I need to give a series to convince me to keep picking it up? Is two enough? Is it wrong of me to really want you to answer that last question in the affirmative?
Drew: It’s tough; I want to give this title a fair shot, but it’s looking more and more like it will be several issues before we have any idea what this team will even look like. Each issue so far has served as an origin story for one of our teens, which means we’re still a good way off from seeing the final configuration of the team. I’ve never been a fan of origin stories, and the fact that this one seems to be extended for an entire arc is trying my patience.
It doesn’t help that I can’t sympathize with a single one of these characters. Teenage heirs and heiresses aren’t exactly the most relatable demographic. J.P. and Cecelia’s fight seems familiar enough, but it’s all but impossible for me to feel sorry for someone who just replaced all of the hotel furniture because they didn’t look comfortable. I can barely stand it when my friends complain about whatever first world problem bullshit they think is hard about their lives (I’m a blast at parties), so a story following the trials and tribulations of a group of trillionaires (trillionaires!) isn’t going to garner any boo-hooing from me (at least, not the non-sarcastic variety).
We’re supposed to feel sorry for this asshole? I’m not always a huge class warrior, but the thought of such obscene wealth (Commodore’s expected inheritance of $64 trillion actually exceeds most estimates of the entire wealth on Earth) makes me sick to my stomach.
But beyond the morality of insane, unfathomable wealth lies the suggestion that all of the world’s problems are caused by that wealth. Like, okay, so why not just donate it all to famine relief and cancer research? Instead, our characters choose to keep their insane amounts of money (and talk about getting more money) so they can enjoy all of the attention and danger it brings. Mo money, mo problems, as they say. That would be a stupid, but ultimately only stupid choice, but the thought that it might put other people in danger is never mentioned. Abisha, Mo’s bodyguard (or his father’s secretary — I’m not entirely clear what his job actually entails), is nearly killed in the first issue, but this issue finds him fiercely defending his employer. I guess it’s a good thing money can by loyalty, huh?
I get it — teenagers are kind of inherently self-centered — I’m just not sure what is to be gained from exaggerating that particular trait to the Nth degree. I don’t know anyone who walks away from a conversation with a teenager wishing that they had been more petulant and selfish. The fact that these characters are so unrelatable is off-putting enough, but it’s inexcusable that it has such an ugly opinion of its target demographic. It’s insulting to everyone’s intelligence, but especially to the very teens it’s hoping to appeal to.
Mik, I tend to agree with you that there are just too many titles out there to justify reading one that I don’t even like. I’m ready to tap out on this one, but I’d be happy to see a defense mounted in the comments. Is there anything in this title worth sticking around for?
For a complete list of what we’re reading, head on over to our Pull List page. Whenever possible, buy your comics from your local mom and pop comic bookstore. If you want to rock digital copies, head on over to DC’s website and download issues there. There’s no need to pirate, right?
Retcon Punch 
No defense of it it from me, fellas. I tapped out right at the point JP demanded cases of fancy imported bottled water for Cecilia to bathe in. She’s at a world class hotel! Just bathe in the damn tub!
It feels like such a small thing to quibble with, but here’s why it really irks me: I struggle with reading superhero fiction because I often want them to address the problems of the world they’re always ignoring in favor of beating up costumed villains. Superman can help put out the wildfires we struggle with out west, Aquaman can stop oil spills, Batman can set up afterschool programs. There’s so much poverty and hardship worldwide, that I’m always a little uncomfortable when Green Lantern is like “nah, I’m going to zip around space instead.” But the Teen Trillionnaries are active resource-sinks – and if their superpower is their money, then they need to stop pissing it away on bullshit.
If the book went in this direction (like, donating money to charity), I’d be on board in a heartbeat. I still think they can be superheros and give to charity. Like, Batman has the Wayne Foundation (which I’d love to see more of) and I’m sure that Tony Stark gives to charity too. When you get to be that rich, it’s financially irresponsible NOT to give to charity. Plus, ya know, it’s the right thing to do.
The only characters I find even remotely interesting are Comm and Mo. I think that Comm may have seen some shit to put him on his current path, and he’s put Mo on a path that will probably end up with him learning some hard truths about his father.
THE THING IS: It’s pretty much too late for this series to grab me. These characters are bland and, like Drew says, impossible to relate to. We’ve all read Punk Rock Jesus right? Remember Chris? If Comm were more like Chris, with a clear agenda, chock-full of teenage testosterone, trying to use his wealth/influence to save the world, while at the same time saying FUCK THE WORLD, I’d be singing a different tune.
Also, the only actual heroing these kids have done thus far has been in the name of stopping people from stealing THEIR OWN stuff. The amount of self-centeredness in these kids is astounding. I suppose that might be the point, and that the series might even be about the kids overcoming that, but man I’m just not interested in reading about that when they’re so unlikable from the start.
I don’t think any of y’all are being unfair by judging the book when it’s only at its second issue either. I know the Movement is this book’s polar opposite, but still, compare this issue to the Movement’s second issue. By that issue the book had found its groove, solidly introduced the cast, concepts, and even the villains. It’s just so much more fleshed out and compelling than this. The Green Team concept is probably the harder sell from the start, but there was so much more they could have done to make this book interesting and relatable. Beyond it’s other problems, the pacing’s just too slow. I’m getting a little tired of the epic-six-issue-origin-stories.
If this book had a character that was calling out all the shit that WE are, then I think it’d be far more compelling. I think Comm may be intended to be that character, or at least, he COULD have been that character. It’s too bad that he isn’t.
Yeah — they could have at least written them as teenagers. Teenagers are OBSESSED with justice, but these fuckers are too ensconced in their own wealth to give a shit about fairness. I really can’t buy that they would care enough about anyone besides themselves to fight crime. They don’t care about justice, which makes them unbelievable as both superheroes AND teenagers.