Retcon Punch is on Summer Hours, which means we’re going to be writing fewer in-depth pieces for the month of August. But we’re addicts at this point, so we need a place for our thoughts on all those comics we can’t stop reading. Today, we’re discussing Last Days of Ant-Man 1, Captain Marvel and the Carol Corps 3, Civil War 3, Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars 4, E is for Extinction 3, Hank Johnson: Agent of Hydra 1, M.O.D.O.K. Assassin 4, Marvel Zombies 3, and Old Man Logan 4.

Last Days of Ant-Man 1

Patrick: A big scary event like the end of the known multiverse isn’t going to stop Ant-Man writer Nick Spencer from telling — what amount to — a pretty standard Ant-Man tale. Scott Lang’s “Last Days” end up being like just about any other set of days, full of their own set-backs, feelings of isolation, and at least one zany caper. At the behest of his sole investor, Ant-Man steals an Asgardian relic capable of restoring lost youth. Mary Morgenstern reveals herself to be retired-Captain-America-sidekick Spitfire, and further reveals her business to be a retirement home for superheroes that have long since aged out of their ability to fight injustice. The geriatric heroes pick up right where they left off, and are happy as clams! It’s a cute story, and one that feels nicely at home in and among Secret Wars: after all, what is this event but an excuse to bring old heroes and concepts back to the fore?

But Morgenstern’s motivations also end up being tied to the motivations of the writers and editors at Marvel. There are a few problems with these old characters, the more chuckle worthy being that, y’know, they were probably all at least a little bit racist or sexist or anti-semitic or something equally horrible. Morgenstern kinda glosses over this point when she explains why she had changed her name to “Morgan.” She says “We changed it when I was a little girl because — well, don’t ever let them tell you the good old days were all good, kid.” The bigger issue, is that these heroes all lived long, full, difficult lives, and there’s really no way to honor their suffering and make them magically young at the same time. But Morgenstern essentially revives these characters for the same reason Spencer does: because they both know the world is going to end anyway. Might as well let them have one last shot at being themselves.

And speaking of being himself, Scott goes out doing the most explicitly sad-dad thing we’ve seen from him so far: he has a one-night stand with the Beetle. Actually, maybe it wouldn’t have been a one night stand if the world didn’t literally end in the middle of their morning-after room service.

Captain Marvel and the Carol Corps 3

Spencer: The other day Patrick and I estimated that just Marvel’s monthly Secret Wars tie-ins alone likely outnumber DC’s entire publishing line. We’re fortunate that the majority of these tie-ins are as readable as they are, but the downside is that even some of the better entries start covering similar themes and ideas. That’s exactly the issue that Kelly Sue DeConnick, Kelly Thompson, and David Lopez’s Captain Marvel and the Carol Corps faces. Issue 3 is a charming entry in many ways, from the cute interplay between Carol and Rhodey to the way the creative team pokes fun at some of their own story’s weaknesses (Rhodey’s confusion over which Banshee is which echoes my own) to, of course, the power and respect Carol garners from even her enemies.

This final point is one DeConnick likely wants to drive home as she wraps up her tenure writing Captain Marvel, and is no doubt one her devoted Carol Corps are thrilled to see, but it isn’t enough to hinge this series’ entire identity around. There’s a surprisingly high number of Secret Wars tie-ins about “heroes rebelling against God Doom,” and there simply isn’t enough meat to Captain Marvel and the Carol Corps to help it stand out in that particularly crowded category — this is especially true in issue 3, which essentially boils down to “Carol and her crew running away” with a few moments of characterization thrown in. Again, this isn’t a bad issue by any means, but it feels like one I’ve read a dozen times now, and as unfair as it may seem, a series needs a bit more than that to truly shine in this current market.

Civil War 3

Michael: Near the end of Civil War 3 Peter Parker says: “I don’t feel much at all, really. I can remember what I used to feel, but it’s just …not there anymore.” Peter old pal, I gotta say that I sorta feel the same about the book you’re in. Ok that might be a little harsh, but this particular Secret Wars tie-in feels like it is moving at a snail-ish place. I think part of that has to do with the groundwork and world-building that Charles Soule is still trying to accomplish – giving us little moments where we understand why various characters decided to choose the sides they did etc. – but we don’t really have the luxury for that kind of exposition from here on out. There’s a scene between Bucky and Tony where Bucky states that him siding with Tony had nothing to do with personal feelings, Bucky just believed that Tony was the man to lead. That’s a nice bit of allegorical optimism for the electoral process, but feels like we are still establishing why are characters are doing what they’re doing.

We follow up on Spider-Man’s assault (do we still call him Spider-Man? I have no clue) on one of the facilities in The Iron. This sequence involves one of the hallmarks of Elseworlds tales: characters that have become sad/perverted versions of their former selves. Peter tells the story of how Dr. Octopus’ severed arms killed Kingpin and have been using his body as a vehicle ever since. Lenil Francis Yu excels here at drawing this monstrous Fisky blob, who ultimately gets a Daredevil baton to the brain. I’m not exactly sure why that killed “King Ock,” nor am I sure why he seemed to sometimes revive his Kingpin personality and sometimes say “Puny Parker” – a Flash Thompson nickname for Peter. Mysteries abound. I thought it was a nice touch that Soule brought Speedball – the guy who started this whole Civil War mess in the first place – back into the fold. Instead of the masochistic weirdo “Penance” that he became on Earth-616, he’s one of “The Punishers.” The issue ends with us discovering that T’Challa has been alive this whole time because…of course he is.

Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars 4

Spencer: As much as I’ve enjoyed Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars, it’s always felt a little gimmicky. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, as Deadpool is by and large a humor character, and the gimmick of inserting Deadpool into a story he was never a part of before has resulted in a surprisingly diverse range of jokes. What it does mean, though, is that I’m grateful for the genuine pathos Cullen Bunn and Matteo Lolli inject into their finale.

With that in mind, issue 4 is all about Deadpool’s self-loathing, and the ways that gives him a bit more perspective than your average superhero. First we’re given Wasp as a point of comparison; Bunn portrayers her as quite typically heroic, but she’s also shown to be somewhat shallow and self-centered. She’s continually unnerved by Wade’s true appearance, and when the opportunity arises, she wishes to forget Deadpool altogether. The fact that Wade still remembers their dalliance (as evidenced by the fact that he’s been telling this whole story to his hot-dog vendor) means that Wasp wasn’t concerned with sparing his feelings; she wanted to forget Wade to alleviate her own guilt. Meanwhile, Deadpool’s wish is, surprisingly enough, entirely altruistic.

This comes entirely from a place of self-loathing. Most superheroes are able to find a way to keep their loved ones safe without sacrificing their careers, but Deadpool knows (or at least believes) that this isn’t a possibility for him. So he sacrifices his own happiness to give Zsaji the kind of freedom and happiness she would never have found with him or any of Marvel’s other heroes. It’s a surprisingly smart, selfless, and self-aware ending; a story with this premise didn’t necessarily need to go in that direction, but I’m glad it did.

E is for Extinction 3

Patrick: Grant Morrison casts such a long shadow on any franchise he ever got his hands on. (Check out our Grayson 11 write-up, out today, for an example of how effects of his work are still bubbling up in series that didn’t even exist when he was writing Batman.) And then there’s X-Men, which is a brand that burdens itself with its own history to an insane degree. It’s no wonder that the Chris Burnham, Dennis Culver and Ramon Villalobos’ E is for Extinction would become delightfully mired Morrisonian details from X-Men past, and still find a way to incorporate the Battleworldliness of it all. A sentien mutant-growth-hormone-based virus has scattered itself across Battleworld, collecting Hank McCoys to use as puppets in its revenge war on Magneto. What results is a spectacle of knowing nods to X-Men mythos, paying off readers attachment to Beak and Angel (and their family!), the Stepford Cuckoos, and the one-man-wrecking-ball that is Wolverine. Maybe the single coolest moment (until, the next one anyway), was Charles Xavier, in the body of Quentin Quire, entering the fray and snuffing out the virus on a sub-atomic level.

This beat is such inside baseball, but Burnham and Culver don’t seem to care one way or the other: as X-Men fans, this is meaningful to them. That makes it a gratifying read to me too — with only a couple years under my belt, I still feel like a new X-Men fan, but a fan nonetheless — but I have to wonder what this reads like to someone knew to the franchise. Xavier has been dead for the entire time I’ve been reading new X-Men comics, but he died under different circumstance than we see here. Burnham and Culver have that covered, however, and are prepared to push my emotional buttons again as that Phoenix Egg hatches to reveal… Jean/Cassandra Nova/Phoenix? What/whoever that is, it’s steeped in X-Men lore, and it’s amazing that this creative team has the freedom to pay off all this mythology in one baller mini-series. Fellahs: that’s the power of Secret Wars.

Hank Johnson: Agent of Hydra 1

Patrick: I guess I’m on the “Sad Dad” beat this week, but that would be a title just as apt following Hank Johnson’s colon. Writer David Mandel — who is mostly known as a writer on the last three seasons of Seinfeld and a director/producer on Curb Your Enthusiasm — brings his trademark obsession with the mundanity of every-day life to the world of supercriminal organizations. In keeping with that comical, work-a-day aesthetic, Secret Avengers artist Michael Walsh fills the pages with purposely non-spectacular action, steering the audiences interests away from Hydra’s plans for (Battle)world-domination or the Avenger’s swooping in to action, and toward the petty disappointments that come with being a father, husband, and corporate drone.

I can already tell that it sounds like I’m underselling this thing. It’s actually a total blast, and is filled with exactly the kind of scenarios you’d expect if George Costanza had kids (and the Yankees were Hyrdra). Nearly every single page in a new every-day situation for Hank to navigate. I’m not totally convinced that this needed to be a Secret Wars tie in – realistically, this issue could have come out at any time and the effect would basically be the same. Still, if it take the end of the multiverse to get a scene like this:

…then it’s so totally worth it.

M.O.D.O.K. Assassin 4

Spencer: M.O.D.O.K.’s best quality as a character is simply his sheer ridiculousness — his very existence alone is often enough to generate laughs (just check out the inspired joke from Hank Johnson: Agent of Hydra Patrick posted above for proof). That makes M.O.D.O.K. a character who can exist as a living punchline, and in that vein, it’s possible to enjoy his adventures in Christopher Yost and Amilcar Pinna’s M.O.D.O.K. Assassin simply as a sheer mindless kill-fest. That said, that reading is ignoring some of M.O.D.O.K.’s burgeoning humanity. It’s a viewpoint many of us might share with the characters within the issue — everybody from Valeria to Baron Mordo underestimate M.O.D.O.K. or think him unworthy of feelings or romance or purpose, but I don’t think Yost feels the same.

M.O.D.O.K. proving his naysayers wrong is quickly becoming the main thrust of this series — while he’s not exactly changing or losing his lust to kill, M.O.D.O.K. has evolved quite a bit after meeting Angela!Thor, and I imagine he will only continue to grow in the future. The fact that Angela even seems to be slightly falling for M.O.D.O.K. in return helps strip their relationship of any minor icky elements it once had and firmly establish them as a couple I can root for. Seriously, murderous or not, they’re surprisingly cute.

I’m always game for watching a character discover that they can be more than what they’ve been told they should be, and that thrill doesn’t diminish when the character in question is M.O.D.O.K. He may be designed only for killing, but that doesn’t mean he can’t do more with his life — and Doom protect anybody who tells M.O.D.O.K. otherwise.

Marvel Zombies 3

Patrick: It’s tempting to think of “Elsa Bloodstone’s Adventures in Zombie Land” as a balls-to-the-wall gory action spectacular. The problem with that line of thinking is that there’s inevitably a price for proceeding with such storytelling abandon. We ended the previous issue with Deadpool strung upside-down, brain exposed to the world, as sort of a never-ending spigot of zombie food, and I was hailing it as one of the more clever things I’d seen in comics that week. (And I maintain that it is clever as hell.) In this issue, writer Simon Spurrier takes him time to establish just how bleak Deadpool’s position here is, leaning in to Wade’s psychotic buffoonery as a symptom of his ritually devoured brain. Aritst Kev Walker isn’t letting us off the hook here either – what at first appeared to be shackles holding Deadpool in place, are revealed to me bolts driven through his arms and piercing his legs. It’s still clever, but the upside-down crucifixion of Deadpool stopped being cute the second the creators made us think about it.

That ends up being the tone that pervades the whole issue. Elsa pulls off some cool stunts rescuing the child (who we find out is a girl!), but all of those skills are resultant from a lifetime of neglect and abuse from her father. When presented with an opportunity to make the little girl make the hard choice to blow up Deadpool and end his suffering, Elsa starts to transfer that some cruelty onto her new ward, but ultimately makes the more compassionate choice and does the dirty work herself. I trust we’ll get into this in greater detail next month — especially as Elsa comes face to face with Dead Daddy Bloodstone by the end of this one — but Spurrier seems to be asserting that Elsa’s experience isn’t worth the skills they produced. The question, of course, will become: is Elsa being cruel to the little girl by sparing her these cruel life lessons?

Old Man Logan 4

Michael: Before Jason Aaron took the sullen loner Wolverine and made him the new headmaster of the Xavier School, the whole of comic bookdom could probably collectively admit to Wolverine fatigue. Old Man Logan 4 has renewed that Wolverine fatigue for yours truly. What started off as an intriguing follow-up to Mark Millar’s original Old Man Logan has now become a typical Wolverine SNIKT-fest tour of Battleworld. Logan has found himself in Doom’s designated “Hell,” which seems to consist of Marvel Zombies. Scratch that, it’s just zombies of Marvel villains; and a lot of Venom symbiotes – or maybe just the one popping up in a lot of different places. In a battle with the undead that seems endless, Logan begins to wonder if there was ever a life before this one; until he bumps into She-Hulk. Jennifer Walters serves as nothing more than a prop for the plot to utilize, as she “fastball specials” Logan out of Zombieland and into another version of New York. Bendis gives She-Hulk a minute to explain how she landed into Zombie-Hell, but Logan never bothers to give her any explanation for his presence there. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind not having to retread the particulars of this simple story, but She-Hulk has zero motivation to put herself in harm’s way to save this random ass clawed-stranger. This is nowhere near “fridging” She-Hulk, but she exists in this book as a deus ex machina for next Battleworld tour stop.

Unsurprisingly Old Man Logan continues to be a beautiful-looking book thanks to Andrea Sorrentino. Because Old Man Logan 4 is such a simplistic book, it doesn’t really need any words present at all – maybe the She-Hulk/Logan scene…maybe. Regardless, Sorrentino is so damned good that you don’t really want words to get in the way of the experience he’s laying out. I think that the opening spread is a perfect embodiment of Wolverine’s current conflict: endless hordes of zombies coming at Logan spliced among dozens of tiny panels. If you take another step back outside of your regular comic book reading, these square panels combine to look like bars for the prison that Logan is currently confined in. On the following two pages we have a similar spread that heightens this tension by closing in on Logan’s individual kills and a super close-up of Logan’s (berserker?) rage. I don’t think that Sorrentino’s artwork would be the same without Marcelo Maiolo’s colors however. His technique of making action panels what I’ll call “white hot” – stark white characters in red backgrounds – brings Sorrentino’s patiently choreographed action to another level. So while Sorrentino and Maiolo are awesome, Old Man Logan 4…not so much.

Did you read some Secret Wars tie-ins that we didn’t? Sure you did! There are holes in our pull list. Holes that you’re encouraged to fill with your comments. Let’s keep talking about Secret Wars.