The Retcon Punchers spend an awful lot of time looking for ways to celebrate our nerdy obsessions. This means a lot of time sunk into scouring Etsy, Deviant Art, Think Geek or whatever. Sometimes we see things so great we just have to share them… and then clutch them fiercely to our collective chest. Throw it in The Vault.
Website: Firebox
Who Would Love This: Narcissists, people who want to pretend to be superheroes but lack imagination, the homely dude they used to model this product
Price: $127.39
Let me be clear, I’m not advocating purchase of this product. First of all, the price tag is astronomical (and oddly specific), but it also suggests that someone wants to pretend that they are a superhero, but can’t do that unless the hero literally has their face. As a kid, I used to hate that my Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves action figures didn’t look like the real characters, I can only imagine how I would have reacted to a Batman figure that looked like me. Oh, and the website makes a special note that the personalized action figures are not toys. Nothing says fun like “for display purposes only.”
Retcon Punch 
Hahaha. I can imagine the pitch meeting now:
“I’ve finally figured out a way to solve the problem that action figures don’t look like the people playing with them!”
“…what the fuck are you talking about?”
Yeah, it reminds me of that David Cross bit about products that address imaginary problems: like the Egg Wave or Square Bagels.
I saw this last week, I was disappointed that the masked characters don’t have their masks on! I mean, I get that kind of defeats the purpose of giving them your faces, but seeing Batman in costume with out the cowl seems stranger to me than seeing that dude’s face.
Scale also seems way off. These heads are huge.