The Retcon Punchers spend an awful lot of time looking for ways to celebrate our nerdy obsessions. This means a lot of time sunk into scouring Etsy, Deviant Art, Think Geek or whatever. Sometimes we see things so great we just have to share them… and then clutch them fiercely to our collective chest. Throw it in The Vault.
Who Would Love This: Me. Also, you.
Price: 30 years of refusing to grow up.
I’m breaking the format a little bit today. I turned thirty-goddamned-years old last Friday. At the risk of alienating anyone over that age: that is old. But that doesn’t mean that two of the best women in my life can’t buy me presents with Batman on them.
My mother got me a pair of Batman Converse Hightops. I’ve never had shoes that I’ve liked this much before. Couple that with the appropriateness / punniness of referring to them as “kickin'” and they’re basically my favorite non-athletic foot-covering right now.
And on top of that, my girlfriend got me a set of juice glasses with DC heroes on them. She was quick to point out that these weren’t pint glasses – as though that somehow made them more special. After careful consideration, I’ve determined that she’s sorta right: pint glasses with something printed on them are pedestrian. Forget your bourgeois alcohol, the revolutionaries drink juice.
Yeah, I’m a lucky guy.
Retcon Punch 
Excellent presents. Technically I think those glasses are collins glasses. For bourgeois alcohol. Or juice.
The only drink that any of them have been used for at this point is the following: Sarah drank a diet coke out of the Wonder Woman glass. #notsexist
The next step would be Patrick drinking a coke zero out of the Superman glass. #blokecoke
THE PEOPLE DEMAND JUICE!
I wasn’t sure how to spell bourgeois, so I did a google search for “proletariat” and then poked around from there. That’s the quintessential liberal arts education at work there – don’t know the information, know how to find it.
I believe the drink we’re all thinking of is “Retcon Punch.”
Oh my god. Drew, you’re a genius. We need to come up with a recipe for Retcon Punch.
This might be specific to my corner of childhood, but did anyone else mix all the sodas together at the self-serve fountain and call that a “Superman?” Because if there’s a Retcon Punch, “Superman” (prime or otherwise) needs to be a part of it.
I’m pretty sure it’s when the recipe you’re using to make punch becomes so confusing you just abandon it halfway through and start with something way simpler.
So the recipe ends “fuck it – pour it out and just serve coke: you already know everyone loves coke.”
This has got to be the nerdiest beverage joke around.
I want to drink it while wearing superhero jammies, while playing Lego Batman 2.
I hope whenever you take a step with those shoes a trumpet blast sounds from a tiny speaker inside the heal.
The speaker is in the toe and it’s a full brass section with some fat juicy string stabs in there for good measure.
Hey, these are nice! Missed this post somehow, so belated congrats!
My parents bought me a similar set of glasses (they have the logos of Superman, Batman, Green Lantern and the Flash) a couple of weeks ago and it’s one of the coolest gifts I’ve ever gotten, hope you’re enjoying yours just as much!
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